Boy, do I have a treat for you ladies (and gentlemen?) today! The lovely and completely hilarious Jen from Maybe If You Just Relax is a guestie today. I'm sure you all are as thrilled as I am. If you have no idea who this is, man, have I got a new blogger for you!
I've been a longtime fan of this lady, in fact, I think she was one of the first blogs ever that I started following on my Google Reader (pretty much the most wonderful invention to follow blogs) and to this day I get all giddy when I see she's posted a new post -- and then I laugh loudly and inappropriately at pretty much everything she says.
"Let me just go grab my checkbook..."
That was my response to Jillian Michaels a few weeks ago. When I first started the 30 Day Shred. "You don't get abs like these for free, people!" She yells, as she helps someone do crunches. Someone with abs that would probably break your face if you looked at them wrong.
Yeah, well, at that point, I was ready to pay someone to shred my abs while I soaked in a nice bubble bath. Preferably, someone good looking, muscular, who loves my jokes and wants to feed me chocolates instead of encouraging me to work out.
I want to hate Jillian Michaels, just on principal. Workout videos are obnoxious. I hate when people try to motivate me, it just annoys me. I also hate when people with perfect bodies try to tell me how easy it is to jump around for thirty minutes. And I can't watch The Biggest Loser because all of the grunting and crying makes me want to claw out my own eyes, or just change the channel to something more respectable. Like Jersey Shore.
So many valid reasons why I should hate Jillian. But the truth is that I have a strange girl crush on her. I've been doing The Shred three days a week for almost a month, and I must say...that bitch means business. There is a whole side-lunge thing combined with an arm exercise that has me all sweaty and groaning like something dirty is happening in my living room.
Yes, I groan and grunt like a 400 pound Biggest Loser contestant. It is about as attractive as it sounds.
BUT, I have lost about 5 pounds. And the workout that once made me leak profanities from the blackest part of my soul? Is not so hard. I still have more rolls than a bakery, but I can notice a difference underneath the dough. And I've been able to work in three days a week of running on the treadmill along with Jillian. I'm like two workouts away from being able to give my husband a piggy back ride to the Taco Bell drive through.
Why am I hogging up Beverley's blog to tell you this? Well, because I am a slutty whore. That's why. Because I'm a slutty whore, and I'm ready to change it up and cheat on Jillian. And I'd like your help, because you are smart and pretty and your ass looks fantastic in those pants.
What workouts do you love? What workout gurus do you love to hate? Do you make naughty noises while you workout?
"A pretty woman is a welcome guest."