Where do I go from here?...

Clearly I've become a fallen blogger. I've thought about it for awhile now. I loved blogging. Loved it. But I've felt like I don't fit in this space for a long time now. A Baby? Maybe...is obviously not me anymore, as my house full of diapers, tiny mittens, shoes that light up, Hello Kitty paraphernalia and Disney movies will attest to.

So, where does one go from here? Do I stay and update the layout and the description and freshen up this space? Do I start anew, as I've had a alternate blog name waiting in the wings for years now. Will you come with me? Where do I go from here?

Help.

"I do know, where you go, is where I want to be
Where are you going, where do you go?
Are you looking for answers
to questions under the stars?"

-Dave Matthews Band

Dinnertime...

Sometimes it feels like this life is going by so fast that I actually have to stop and take deeps breaths and close my eyes because I feel dizzy from the speed of it all. It's overwhelming. It literally takes my breath away.

Life never moved as fast as it does now, now that there are tiny people involved.

I'm sure you agree.

I was thinking the other day, as I drove home from a long day at work and was racking my brain as to what we would eat for dinner, about when it was just Rob and I. When sometimes our idea of dinner was a huge loaf of fresh french bread, you know the ones that they put out at 5:00 pm in the grocery store? We would light a fire in the tiny family room of our little yellow house and eat an entire loaf of bread, dipped in balsamic and olive oil, for dinner. OMG, yum. 

How times have changed. Because, apparently, you cannot feed two small people a load of bread for dinner. Shocking? I know. Now we need a meat, a veggie a starch, a nice well rounded meal. Unfortunately, for my children, they have a more specific idea of a meal that is a chicken, a broccoli an a rice or...only pasta with butter. That's about it. Anything else ensures that I will spend my dinner pleading and threatening anything and everything to try and get them to try it. 

"Four bites, just four. "

"How about three mommy? PHHUULLLEAASE THREE?" 

"FOUR, OMG Rob the baby is smearing it in her hair. Lucy, FOUR. Zoe stop throwing the potatoes at the dog. Lucy sit down do not go under the table. Why are you crying? Four is only one more than three..."

You know what? I like chicken and rice with broccoli. But, every single night? It's a little ...redundant. And, for goodness sakes, why will they not eat a thing out of a damn crockpot? 

Sometimes I long to just skip dinner, have some bread and oil and sit down after a long day. But, as I was driving home and thinking about it, not really wistfully, just thinking. I also thought about the fact that someday, in the not so far off future, there will be a time where a considerably older couple can still go and eat a load of bread with balsamic for dinner. Of course, by that time, we'll be older and more responsible that our young and reckless bread eating days, but regardless of what we're eating we'll probably laugh about the days when we had insanely noisy dinners of chicken and rice, where the baby would constantly throw the rice on top of the dog, who was valiantly trying to clean up after her. Where Lucy would chatter in my ear incessantly about her day and what she was going to eat for dessert and if we could pretty please watch Incredibles after dinner with popcorn, please please I'll eat all my dinner I promise.  I know I'll wish for these days. I know it. I feel like they're slipping through my fingers, and I'm trying to hold on.

Can you possibly wrap your head around how BIG they are?

"Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by."

-Carl Sandburg

Here we go again...

BREASTFEEDING IS NOT CONTROVERSIAL. For goodness sakes. It is getting downright outrageous out there. 

This article here discusses how, once again, a picture of a breastfeeding mother has sparked public debate. Except this time the picture is of military servicewoman who are breastfeeding...in uniform. GASP. The horror of it. Allegedly it has been compared to urinating or defecating in public in uniform.

I think it is disgusting how the media seems to be portraying breastfeeding as a controversy, even if it is, in fact, a controversial issue, the media is playing a huge role in are really fueling fire lately. And, if it is a fact, that the military prefers women NOT breastfeed in uniform, then I'm disgusted at them as well. Why must women be made to feel that breastfeeding is something to be ashamed of? That there is even a question as to when and where is "appropriate" to feed your child.  I don't think it is ANY different that a woman in uniform sitting and bottle feeding her child. Same thing, different vessel.

I just don't understand it and I'm SO tried of it. What about you?

"Controversy equalizes fools and wise men - and the fools know it."

Oliver Wendall Holmes

We're so close...

To being HOMEOWNERS again! 


Almost 7 months of waiting...and waiting...and waiting for the short sale offer to be approved. 7 months of being jerked around by the sellers and their agent (there was A LOT of shenanigans going on there) and then by the short sale negotiators and the bank (damn you Chase bank, DAMN YOU)! And you know what? It was totally worth it, and not for the reason you think.


We found a different house. Two weeks ago I happened upon a brand new listing and we decided to take a look, (since while you're waiting on a short sale you are contractually allowed to still make offers on other properties). So we went, on a hot Monday night after work when we were all tired and the girls were cranky and Rob only had 15 minutes until his softball game that evening. 


We loved it.  


Big, beautiful, finished (no fixer here), perfect yard, great neighborhood, walking distance to school and friends and "Nanny" (my mom).


Done and done. 


Offer in. Haggle, haggle, haggle. Offer accepted. Inspection done. Appraisal done. Now we're just waiting for the sellers to let us know if they will do the repairs (they are total hagglers - I don't hate the players, hate the game). We close on June 14th. OMG! June FOURTEENTH! Only two weeks away! They needed some extra time to pack up so we get possession on June 24th.


We are so FREAKING excited I cannot even begin to tell you.


Lesson learned, times that are hard sometimes make it all worth it in the end. I cannot wait to share pictures with you all! Although, with the other house I had a WHOLE Pinterest board dedicated to renovations and ideas...with this house, it doesn't need anything major. So, instead of major projects and renovations and all that, we'll just live our sweet little lives instead. Sounds pretty good to me!


In the meantime, here is a little photo snack of my ladies, growing up too fast:

Zoe, being ultra-cool. I totally want to buy her these baby sunglasses (she's trying them on in the store)...even though they are $18.99...which is more than I spend on my OWN sunglasses...

Petco - like the zoo only cheaper and less exhausting

Sisters dancing at the Farmer's Market

She cannot take a picture without her tongue out!

Someone is a Daddy's girl...BIG time

Movie night with Mom and Dad

Could she BE any cuter?

Seriously?

Heat = nothing a sprinkler can't fix

Silly girl

Swim lessons is serious business

She is so cool (wearing my glasses...which cost less than those ones I want for Zoe)

Piggies!

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. 

So love the people who treat you right and forget the ones who don't. 

And believe that everything happens for a reason... 

if you get a chance, take it; if it changes your life - let it.

Nobody said it would be easy...

They just promised it would be worth it."

-Unknown

 

Are you Mom enough?...

Image Credit Time Magazine - 2012

So the internets are all a’buzzing about the picture from Time Magazine for a variety of reasons. 

OMG she’s breastfeeding a school age child! Disgusting! Outrageous! Scandal! Pervert! 

She’s going to scar that boy for life on the cover of a major news magazine like that! Child abuse! 

This is basically pornography showing a uncovered BREAST like that! ::clutching pearls:: 

Me, I don’t give a flying fig about the picture. You breastfeed your infant, cool. You breastfeed your toddler, cool. You breastfeed your school-age child, cool. Your decision. I don’t care. I don’t care if you advertise it by way of sitting next to me on a park bench or on a national magazine.

I’m not going to be the only blogger to write about this, but… what I don’t like? The title...

“Are YOU Mom Enough?” 

Yes. 

Whether we decide to breastfeed or formula feed. Work from home or stay at home. Cloth diaper or use disposables. Shop at Whole Foods and eat organic or from the bargain bulk bins at Winco. Home-school or send them off to the bus stop. Whether you read Dr. Sears, Dr. Green or Dr. Ferber. Co-sleep or cry it out. Whether you birthed that baby in a hospital with a sheet between you and a doctor who was slicing you open like a watermelon or whether you had them at home, au natural, in a plastic tub. 

YES. 

And when you feel the doubt creeping in. When the moms in your play group, your friends on Facebook, advertising, TV shows, news articles, Pinterest, BLOGGERS, all make you feel like you’re not enough?

YOU ARE. 

What? You don’t’ craft and make elaborate dinners? Throw incredible themed first birthday parties? You don’t have your own organic garden? You aren’t making homemade baby food? You didn’t encapsulate your placenta? You don’t have a savings account for your child? A college fund? You’re not going on an incredible family vacation every year? You don’t save 80% of your grocery bills with an incredible coupon cutting strategy? Your home doesn’t look like the pages of Pinterest or Pottery Barn? 

THAT IS OK. 

Know one thing. The litmus test for the million dollar question, “Are YOU mom enough?”

Do you LOVE your child? Completely, unconditionally and in a way that is so all-encompassing that every decision you make for your child(ren), your family, is based on that love. 

If the answer is, yes, then yes, you ARE mom enough.

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” 

-Donna Ball, At Home on Ladybug Farm